I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
