If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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