are you still at the devil's house?
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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