Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
