i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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