He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Panties = found
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