Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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