He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize