HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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