I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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