so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
