i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
