i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
