Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
bring money and cleavage
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
