my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
