Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
