last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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