Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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