Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
