dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
