She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
