Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
