dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
