Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
