I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
