I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
