You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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