I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
