What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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