If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
