just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I will pee on everything he values.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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