i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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