She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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