you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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