I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I AM VODKA MAN
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
