Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize