It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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