half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
