I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
