i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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