Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
