Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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