why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Farmville is her only friend.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Randomize
