i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
