This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
