He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I don't deserve a penis
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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