So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
