Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
