Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
