I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
