kristin has been a bad kristin
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
