Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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