Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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