Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
