Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
