New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
