My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Oh god it's open bar.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
