Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
