thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize