the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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