wrigley field is MILF paradise
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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