Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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