Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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