Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
