She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
