Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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