maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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